The Obsession with Exceptionalism in the Age of Self-Promotion
“Average.” Today, this word almost feels like an insult. As we scroll through endless social media profiles, where everyone seems to be living their ideal life, being ordinary seems unacceptable. Today, we’re expected to be exceptional—standing out in appearance, intelligence, success, talent, or lifestyle. Increasingly, we undervalue simple pleasures, the tranquility of everyday routines, and the beauty of imperfection.
But where does this obsession with exceptionalism come from? Has it always been this way, or is this something new, specific to our digital era? What does this need say about ourselves, and what does it take away from us? In an age where authenticity has become rare and the pressure to be special has never been stronger, it’s worth asking: what’s so wrong with being average—and is it possible that within it lies something valuable, important, and profoundly human that we’ve forgotten?”
The Performance Culture: We Are All on Stage
In digital culture, the boundary between private and public has nearly vanished. Every moment is potentially content. Every coffee, trip, new hairstyle, or professional success becomes part of our personal brand. Social media isn’t just a communication tool—it has become a stage where we constantly perform.
In this endless quest for validation, the number of likes, comments, and views shapes our self-worth. Instead of experiencing moments for their own sake, we increasingly tailor them to be “Instagram-worthy.” In such a world, being average—living quietly, humbly, without needing to prove ourselves—feels like failure. Like we haven’t mastered the game.
Consequently, anxiety, insecurity, and chronic dissatisfaction increase. In our attempt to be seen, we paradoxically lose ourselves. We become performances, projections—not people. And while trying to escape ordinariness, perhaps it is precisely there where authenticity lies.
Psychological Roots: Why Does Being Average Hurt?
The obsession with exceptionalism isn’t merely a cultural phenomenon—it has deep psychological roots. As human beings, we simultaneously crave belonging and uniqueness. Evolutionarily, belonging to a group was crucial for survival. However, in contemporary society, where physical safety isn’t our main concern, the need to stand out becomes central to our identity.
Perfectionism, fear of failure, and internal emptiness often drive us to seek external validation. Instead of believing that we’re inherently worthy, we constantly try to prove our worth. Average, in this context, feels like defeat—a concession that we aren’t special enough to deserve love, attention, and recognition.
This internal dynamic is amplified by constant comparison with others. Our standards no longer come from within but are reflected through carefully curated lives online. In this relentless race for better, prettier, and more successful lives, being average becomes a threat to our identity. A quiet reminder that perhaps we are not enough—this is the root of deep psychological discomfort.
Pornography as a Symptom: Fantasy Over Reality
A modern and often overlooked example of this obsession with exceptionalism is pornography. While it may seem a peripheral issue, its impact on the collective psyche is immense. Pornography isn’t merely sexual fantasy; it’s a symbolic representation of what society considers desirable, exciting, extreme.
There’s no room for average in pornography—bodies are perfectly sculpted, endurance superhuman, and scenarios stripped of reality. It sets standards that no real relationship, body, or experience can achieve. Thus, it reinforces the idea that “normal” is boring, everyday life insufficient, and reality just a pale shadow of fantasy.
In this way, pornography doesn’t just offer escapism; it reinforces the belief that only extremes have value. Consuming it becomes a ritual affirmation: “You’re not good enough, but perhaps you can fantasize you are.” It vividly illustrates our flight from ordinary selves—often leaving us even emptier and lonelier.
What Do We Lose When We Reject Average?
In our constant quest to be more, to be different, we paradoxically lose what makes us most human. In constructing the perfect image, we distance ourselves from our authentic needs, emotions, and relationships. Average, in its quiet simplicity, offers space for presence, connection, and peace.
By losing touch with our ordinariness, we lose the ability to appreciate who we already are—and find worth in that. We lose patience for slow growth, unspectacular relationships, and everyday moments not designed to impress. We lose compassion—for ourselves and others.
Most dangerously, we lose the feeling of sufficiency. If we’re never good enough unless extraordinary, we can never truly be present—we’re always chasing a better version of ourselves. Perhaps in accepting average lies the freedom we seek—the freedom to be human, not performers.
Conclusion: Maybe Being Average Is the Bravest Thing Today
In a world obsessed with visibility, choosing presence. In an era obsessed with appearances, choosing depth. While modern discourse convinces us we’re valuable only if we’re special, the truth is our worth isn’t in spectacular achievements but in our capacity to be human—vulnerable, imperfect, and present.
Perhaps being average isn’t a sign of defeat but wisdom. Maybe it’s not the end of ambition but its beginning in the right direction. In this frenzy of self-promotion and hyper-productivity, average might be an act of quiet rebellion. So instead of asking how to be special, perhaps we should start asking: How can we be real?
No responses yet